I'm so fucking centered right now
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
