never play flip cup with pint glasses
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Randomize
