I want to have your abortion
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Randomize
