in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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