guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
