Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
