Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
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