I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
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