what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
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