his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Randomize
