Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Randomize
