i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
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