You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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