we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
