In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Randomize
