Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
