is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
splinters make it hard to masturbate
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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