I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Randomize
