I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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