he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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