Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
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