That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
