Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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