wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I don't think brook has ever known best
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
