wat bout pragnant strippers??
I cockslap morals
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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