I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
