Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
You have to summon your inner elephant
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Randomize
