let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
she pinky promised me she was 18
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
