drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
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