Im at strip club and am horny
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
