so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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