He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
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