so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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