great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
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