Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
