I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
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