I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
