insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
We need to rekindle our bromance
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
We are two peas in an std pod
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Randomize
