He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
The Olympian is in my bed
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
