are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
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