i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Randomize
