I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Randomize
