so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Randomize
