Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
