i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.�
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
