i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
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