well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
she pinky promised me she was 18
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Randomize
