Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Randomize
