I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
