Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Michael Bay diarrhea
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
Randomize
